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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408539">New Things</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellow_Park/pseuds/Mellow_Park'>Mellow_Park</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Body Worship, Choking, Coming Untouched, Crying, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Handcuffs, Light Bondage, M/M, Marking, Multiple Orgasms, Name-Calling, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Pet Names, Porn Watching, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Shy Choi Soobin, Smut, Spanking, Subspace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:40:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellow_Park/pseuds/Mellow_Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeonjun wishes their sex life was a little better and Soobin convinces himself to try new things </p>
<p>Or</p>
<p>Yeonbin slowly explore the world of kink</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>413</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Just the beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm bad at writing smut but here we are! Not proofread at all and tags will be added as we go</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content: Orgasm Denial/Delay, Fingering, Coming untouched, dirty talk, praise kink, rimming, slight subspace, crying</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Yeonjun absolutely adores his boyfriend. Soobin is everything, sweet, shy, funny, loving, absolutely perfect. He majors in Japanese which leaves lots of time for dates outside of his morning classes and lovely trips to local Japanese restaurant for dinner. Soobin is a great listener but not much if a talker which fits perfectly with Yeonjuns brighter, more chattery persona. On more occasions that one people have commented how good they look together, how they're soulmates. The way they look together, an overgrown bunny and a smiley fox, makes for the most amazing pictures he's noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin is perfect in every regard. He cooks, is considerably more clean than Yeonjun is, knows how to properly separate laundry, has an internship at a travel agency and brings home freaking flowers every Saturday to brighten up their shared apartment. If he didn't know it would piss the younger off so much he'd say Soobin could be married off well into any family. Who wouldn't want someone so caring as their son in law? His parents are still warning him to take care of Soobin even though they've been dating for almost a year now. Someone like that just doesn't come around again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only bad, not even bad, just very mildly unpleasant thing about dating Soobin would be his Innocence. It's enjoyable every day, teasing his faint hearted bunny with cheesy pickup lines and little innuendos in public to see his chubby cheeks turn pink but Yeonjun would love to introduce a bit more… flavor into their bedroom. Vanilla is great but he's adventurous, curious and wants to fully satisfy his kinky fantasies before him and Soobin finish University, get married and adopt kids. As much as he looks forward to a domestic life with an amazing partner, he wants to take a few risks while he still can. Whenever he brings it up to Soobin he just ends up cooing over the way he blushes and trips over his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's fine bunny, we don't have to"</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And it is fine. He won't break up with Soobin over something as stupid as that and vanilla sex with him is great. If this is all he gets for the rest of his life he'll gladly settle for it. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let me get this straight. You went through Yeonjuns browser history and now you're scared he'll break up with you because he looked up porn?" Soobin whined, burying his face in his large hands while Taehyun took a sip of his strawberry milkshake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you not talk so loud, what If people hear you? And it's not even that, if it was just videos I'd deal with it. But they're… Taehyunie I don't even know why people would do such things" His cheeks were a bright red, bottom lip split from being chewed on for so long. Soobin knows he shouldn't have snooped at Yeonjuns things, they have a basis of trust in their relationship but he just got so curious. They know each others passwords and he wanted to know if Yeonjun had actually sent that stupid email to their landlord and then he got distracted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew he was curious about things like that,but what if I'm boring him Taehyun? I don't think I'll survive if he leaves me" the later hummed, swallowing around some fries before leaning back in his chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First of, Yeonjun wouldn't break up with you over bad sex" </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh my God be </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>quiet" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"So stop being worried about that. And second, if it bothers you so much then why don't you just try stuff with him? Hyung you don't even let him give you hickeys" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because you and Beomgyu would make fun of me for them!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not the point" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun sighed once again while Soobin pouted. He really is just a giant bunny. Sometimes Taehyun almost feels sorry but nothing will get past that thick skull if not the unfiltered truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to do anything, but if you want Yeonjun hyung to be even happier than he is right now just try a few things out. You don't have to like them, but trying can't hurt anyone. It's healthy to be a little naughty" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin still didn't feel happy with this but Taehyun is probably right. Maybe he should at least try a few things instead of panicking over nothing. For Yeonjuns happiness he can surely try to find a thing or two they both enjoy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you tell anyone about this you're dead" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As if you could kill me you giant bunny" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up squirrel face and order me more fries" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So spoiled" </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin spends the next few days psyching himself up, trying to read up on things and just generally pushing away the anxiety under his skin whenever him and Yeonjun are together. He can totally do this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Junnie hyung, can we, uhm, t-talk for a second?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hates himself for stuttering but Yeonjun listens anyways, cat like eyes zeroing in on him as they wash dishes together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure babe, is anything wrong?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun has to know something is up. Even he himself knows that he's been more skittish and shy lately, the thought of bringing up such an intimate topic making his brain short circuit every few seconds but Soobin is thankful he's not bringing it up first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've been thinking about the uh.. the things" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The things?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What you said before" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babe you'll need to be more specific, I talk a lot" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin wants to fall into the nearest hole and die, trying very hard to focus on the pot he's scrubbing to hell and back right now instead of Yeonjuns gaze on him. Just freaking say it, it can't be that hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like, two months ago. You wanted to try a few things when we h-have sex. I've been thinking about that and I realize that I've been too quick to shut you down and I'm sorry. I never had any interest in such things but since you do I figured we could, uh, maybe try some things" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice got progressively quieter until he was barely even whispering but it seemed to be enough for Yeonjun who was basically radiating next to him. It's the kind of smile Soobin always caved for, the bright, childish one when Yeonjuns eyes seem to just disappear. It's adorable. Yeonjun is adorable and Soobin is beyond whipped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You mean it? We don't have to do it Soobinie, I understand if you don't want to" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjuns hands come up to frame his face, soft and sweet and Soobin nods dumbly, leaning into his warm palms. If Yeonjun is going to look this happy about the idea of trying then what does he even have to lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know if I'll like it but we can try some things you're interested in" He smiles innocently, pressing a kiss to Yeonjuns palm so he misses the moment the laters eyes turn darker, an arms around his waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We could try them right now"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Soobin is a weak, weak man for the low voice Yeonjun uses but the dishes aren't going to wash themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How about you finish cleaning this up and I go shower okay? I still have some homework to do" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, that's not a no then~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blushes and pushes Yeonjun away, abandoning the kitchen in favor of the bathroom. Maybe he'll use his favorite body wash today, Yeonjun loves peaches after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just what exactly does Yeonjun even want to do? Sure he's given him free reign and there's certainly a lot of possibilities but Soobin doesn't think he can handle what he's seen Yeonjun enjoy during his me-time. Pain isn't exactly his thing and Soobin has seen more than one person crying when he looked through the videos. If that's what Yeonjun is into then it's no wonder he would bring up their 'boring' sex life every few weeks or so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin likes what they have, sex isn't the most important part of their relationship but it's definitely enjoyable though he'll have to admit they don't do much outside the actual act. Soobin isn't one for extensive foreplay since it makes him antsy and shy and when they're caught up in eachother he doesn't even think about giving head or anything, another thing he's seen an excessive amount of in Yeonjuns browser history. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he should prep himself, since he's already here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After his slightly longer shower, Soobin really did want to just rest. He wanted to finish his essay for Japanese and maybe get a little bit of history studying in before crawling into bed with his beloved. That plan got ruined when he found Yeonjun already in bed, wearing that stupid white button up sleep shirt Soobin bought him once they moved in together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hyung, I have to finish homework" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He said dumbly, as if there was any way Yeonjun would let him do homework in peace right now. The older shook his head and patted the space next to him on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tomorrow's a Sunday. Come here bunny" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin wants himself to hate that nickname but he can't, not when Yeonjun uses it so carefully and lovingly. He pouts as he climbs under the sheets, dimming the light on the bedsides table a bit on his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really wanted to study hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You say that but you smell like peaches Binnie. You only smell like peaches when you wanna have sex" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun pressed a kiss to his cheek, soft and sweet before doing the same to his lips to silence any complaints. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much Soobinie" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only he'd had a second to reply, to confess his undying love for this man but Yeonjun was kissing him again, cradling his face in the palm of his hand while another carefully guided him to lay down, cupping the back of his head so he wouldn't hit it anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Soobin might be a bit of a prude but he'd be damned to not chase Yeonjuns pillowy lips when he pulls away, already trying to get rid of the truly unnecessary sleepwear to appreciate his lover the way he deserves to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I- can I try a few things baby? Nothing big I promise, just wanna make you feel good" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before any panic could settle in his mind Soobin agreed, nodding as Yeonjun trailed a like of kisses down his jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anything you want, hyung. I trust you" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kisses on his neck grow insistent and distantly he knows it'll bruise, that he'll have hickeys so high up his neck he can't hide them. Soobin is no fan of hickeys, doesn't like them much on others and had no desire to have them himself. They seem tacky, possessive and quite unflattering but if it makes Yeonjun happy he'll deal with the public embarrassment for a bit. Besides it feels quite nice and the way Yeonjun stares at them once he comes back up, leaning on his forearms just over him makes his breath catch in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're already bruising, Fuck these will look so nice tomorrow" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Yeonjun doesn't curse often but it's doing things to Soobins head. That and the feathery touches over his throat, tracing the light red marks down between his collarbones. They kiss once more, needy and desperate. Yeonjun licks into his mouth and Soobin opens up easily, always so inviting. He lets Yeonjun take as much as he wants to, whines softly to a bite at his bottom lip and moans as his breath is being taken away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're so pretty bunny, gonna make you feel good okay? Can you turn around?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin pouts in confusion, trying to blink the tears away from his eyes. Turn around? How? On his stomach? But he likes looking at Yeonjun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I wanna see you hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just for a bit baby, if you don't like it you can turn over again, hm?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun gives him puppy eyes, all sparkly and innocent and Soobin visibly gulps. He doesn't even answer, just lightly but pushes Yeonjun away so he has room to maneuver his long body onto his stomach, laying his head in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like this?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently not because Yeonjuns hands on his hips are forceful as he pulls them up, Soobins knees automatically coming up to support the new position. That's new. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just like this baby, can you stay like this for a little? Is it uncomfortable?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it probably shouldn't be as comfortable as it is, ass up and head down between the pillows, waist curving down so quickly but it is. This isn't that bad, ignoring the embarrassment colouring his ears red at the realization that Yeonjun is probably just blatantly staring at his ass now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S'fine. Is this what you wanted?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because that's all that matters right now. Yeonjun groans in what could be a response, the hands on his hips smoothing over his waist before trailing over the slight curve of his behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's perfect baby, thank you" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words seen oddly quiet until Soobin feels something soft against his cheek and oh- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did Yeonjun just literally kiss his ass? Soobin doesn't even get a second to question it, lips parting in a high pitched moan as something wet slides over his rim and holy mother of God. He buries his head away the next second, eyes closed and brimming with tears because he's </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> this loud. They're both fairly quiet in bed and for his voice to betray him like this was beyond mortifying. Yeonjun stopped too, the grip on his waist loosening before it tightens again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Feels that good Bunny?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Denial felt like a nice option right now, the teasing tone to Yeonjuns voice not helping his embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-shut up" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun doesn't usually speak this much, why does he even keep talking? Over his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears Soobin can't hear what the older says next but he does feel his tongue returning to his hole, just pressing against it. It's dirty, he just showered and definitely cleaned himself more than well but that doesn't mean Yeonjun can just stick his tongue up his ass- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! H-hyung, wait, please, hng-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels so good, so weird that it's almost impossibly nice. His cock twitches under him, arching up against his stomach and Soobin doesn't think he's ever been this hard before. The tongue disappears and Soobin nearly chokes trying to hold back the pathetic plea that was already high in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay baby, I got you. Just relax" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The familiar pressure of a fingertips against his blushing hole is the only thing grounding him right now but he agrees, always so easy, so giving. Yeonjuns finger easily slips inside, familiar and welcome as he gently opens him up. The tongue is back too, flicking over his rim and shallowly pressing in with one, then two fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's alarming how fast Soobin is running towards the edge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you finger yourself in the shower baby?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he moans again, giving up with trying to be quiet in favor of ignoring the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taking my fingers so easily, were you that excited? Probably didn't even want my fingers, just wanted my cock inside you didn't you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's scandalous, the way Yeonjun says these things in that stupid low tone. Soobin wants to die, probably could if he wasn't so painfully hard, nearly squeaking when Yeonjun adds a third digit inside him and presses to his prostate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Should I make you come like this? You never came untouched before sweetheart but you can this time right?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin nods, delirious with pleasure because he could. He's already so close, precum soiling his thighs and the sheets below him and he's so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Words baby boy. If you can ask for it I'll let you cum on my fingers" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it's mean, absolutely impossible. Soobin doubts he can even string together half a sentence right now and the shame over even thinking about begging settled hot inside his bones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's so close, feels the coil in his stomach threaten to snap just as Yeonjun pulls his fingers away. It almost hurts, the loss as his orgasm ebbs away just out of reach, how empty he feels without Yeonjuns fingers inside him. Soobin sobbs, tears staining the pillow beneath him and Yeonjun soothes him immediately, leans over his back to kiss his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shh, m'sorry Angel, it's okay, you're doing so well, so much better than I hoped. It'll feel so much better, trust me sweetie" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does, god he trusts Yeonjun more than himself but this is too overwhelming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to stop Soobinnie?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shake of his head surprises himself, happens so fast he's not even sure if he did it at all. He doesn't want to think anymore, doesn't think he can. Yeonjun leans away slightly, just enough to roll him back into his back. Soobin tries to hide his face immediately, red and full of tears but Yeonjun isn't having it, circling his wrists to pull his hands away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay, I got you Binnie. Just focus on me" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another subconscious weak nod. Yeonjun kisses him again, soft and sweet, obviously a distraction as he settles between Soobins long legs. He hasn't let go of his wrists yet. It's alarming that Soobin doesn't mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll push in now" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin whimpers as he does, easily accepting Yeonjuns member inside him. He's thankful, Yeonjun isn't too big but just perfectly presses right over his sweet spot without even trying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, you're so perfect Binnie, so good for hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's talking again and Soobin catches himself wishing Yeonjun would never stop doing that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjuns hold on his wrists is harsh, using them to keep himself upright and Soobin can't move, wishes he could touch Yeonjun right now, pull him down for a kiss or anything but he's trapped and it's the worst kind of good in his sex drunk mind. He misses all the signs, the steady pulse of pleasure in his sex, doesn't even hear himself anymore but his orgasm completely blindsides him. His back arches, limbs twitching as cum spurts in long ropes from his still untouched member, reaching up to his chest. Yeonjun is just as surprised, moaning as Soobin tightens around his cock and thrusts only a few more times before he releases as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun is the first to move and Soobin is sure he blacked out for a second or two, panting and sensitive. Yeonjun cleans them up quickly before settling next to him again, pulling Soobins shivering form against his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay Soobinie?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite his confusion he nods, throws a leg over Yeonjuns thighs and winces as cum leaks from his hole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You usually never come inside hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was too caught up to grab a condom. You were crying a lot, I was worried" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Long fingers play with his hair and Soobin hums, nuzzling against Yeonjuns neck. He's tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was a little overwhelming, but I liked it. Was it okay? I couldn't do much…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So perfect Binnie. Loved hearing you moan, you sound so cute" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up. Sleep, I'm tired"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, your highness. Love you Bunny" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Love you too Hyung" </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content: Body Worship, nipple play, marking, teasing, pet names</p><p>Thank you to elegantuan (https://archiveofourown.org/users/prdsdefsus/pseuds/elegantuan) for requesting these kinks. I don't think I did them justice but I hope it's not too bad!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin finds himself in front of the bathroom mirror the following morning. He'd just woken up early to make some breakfast, get ready for his day. Honestly he just wanted to brush his teeth in peace before Yeonjun woke up but his own reflection in the mirror deleted any sort of drowsiness that remained. </p><p>His neck is absolutely covered in bruises. There are red spots everywhere and a particularly large cluster just over his pulse point started to turn purplish-blue. It looks worse than it feels, it doesn't hurt, weirdly enough, but it's just so foreign to see these on his skin. Soobin never let Yeonjun give him hickeys before, he doesn't think they're nice, he bruises easily and his sex life isn't something he likes to flaunt around strangers but….</p><p>These don't look too horrible? They look pretty bad but a little part inside his head doesn't think they're as horrible as he thought they'd be. He can probably just invest in some good concealer in the future and cover them up for lessons. A hassle, sure, but Yeonjun had looked so happy yesterday so covering them up at home wouldn't be necessary. </p><p>After brushing his teeth and a much needed shower because dried cum is not something he appreciates, Soobin set out to make hard boiled eggs and bacon alongside roast for a simple breakfast. He needs the calories and energy to get his homework done today, that essay is due midnight. </p><p>"Why are you up already?" Yeonjun yawns, basically crawling around the corner before settling next to Soobin at their breakfast table. </p><p>"I still have to do homework, figured I'd get a head start. Did you sleep well?"</p><p>With his free hand he patted Yeonjuns head, letting his little fox cuddle into his side. Tired Yeonjun was beyond precious, like a little kitten that needs attention and Soobin was all too happy to give into that. </p><p>"Very well, I missed you. You were extra clingy tonight and suddenly disappeared when I woke up" Soobin blushes and Yeonjun remains blissfully oblivious to life, almost purring when Soobin lightly scratches the back of his head. </p><p>"Do you have to do homework today? It's finally Sunday, let's go back to bed" </p><p>"I can't Hyung, you know how Sundays are" </p><p>The overgrown kitten groans and dramatically throws himself onto the table. Oh he knows what Sundays are. It's their only shared day off so unless they actively plan a date throughout the week Soobin will use his free time to finish up homework or projects, sit in the library all day to study or worse, go to the gym to work out for no reason at all. </p><p>"You can't just leave me here Binnie. I'll be so lonely without you, I'll die" </p><p>He wails, completely caught up in his own drama while Soobin finishes his toast and peels his egg. </p><p>"You won't die. Open up" </p><p>Yeonjun pouts but obliges and let's Soobin feed him the yolk. For some reason Soobin doesn't like them?? Yeonjun will never understand. </p><p>"Why don't you skip at least the gym today, hm? Let's just cuddle here" </p><p>"You know we wouldn't just cuddle. Get off the table" </p><p>Yeonjun groans again, defeated and tired and desperate for more affection and attention. After Soobin had been so good for him last night he wanted to shower his baby with love but that's hard if his baby keeps trying to go away. </p><p>"I heard sex is as good as a workout~" </p><p>"I'm leaving"</p><p>"SOOBIN NO" </p><p> </p><p>It's around Noon when Soobin resigns himself to the fact that Yeonjun won't let him leave the house. He's been clingy before but this has to be a new level. At least he got to finish two thirds of his assignment after breakfast before being attacked on the couch, forced to rewatch 'Your Name' and the Frozen duology while Yeonjun half naps on his lap. </p><p>"Is this really necessary, hyung?" </p><p>"Yes, it definitely is. You deserve softness today Binnie and since you, for some reason, force yourself to leave me every Sunday I'm forcing you to spend it with me today" </p><p>Yeonjun looks so happy with himself, smiling with no care in the world in absolute glee and Soobin… </p><p>He just deflates. </p><p>"I'm not leaving you, hyung. Just trying to make sure I can spend time with you during the week. You know that right?" </p><p>Yeonjun hums, a very non-committal answer for the situation they're in right now and Soobins first instinct is to worry. </p><p>"Hyung?" </p><p>"I know Binnie" </p><p>And Yeonjun rolls away from him, facing the TV and Soobin doesn't feel so good about this. </p><p>Yeonjun has always been the more forward part of their dynamic. Yeonjun chose the places for their dates, their daily activities, the shows they watch and the time they head to bed. Yeonjun is the one doing these stupidly unnecessary grand gestures of love, indulges in PDA that Soobin doesn't fancy and takes over their conversations. Maybe Soobin has been too passive? Because he definitely loves Yeonjun more than anything in the world but he just assumed Yeonjun knew that. </p><p>Apparently he doesn't. </p><p>"I don't think you do" he pouts and Yeonjun turns over on his back again, pouting right back at Soobin. </p><p>"I know that you love me Binnie" </p><p>"But you don't think I love you as much as you love me?" </p><p>The lack of an answer is an answer in itself and Soobin feels guilty. He failed in making Yeonjun feel loved. </p><p>"Junnie, Kitten, you know that you mean the world to me" </p><p>Soobin doesn't use the nickname often, saves it for special occasions while Yeonjun likes to throw a million a day at him. However, whenever he does use the nickname Yeonjun seems to love it, face softening and his eyes scrunching up just a little. </p><p>"Love everything about you. You're so kind and smart and amazing. Always try your hardest for those you love, for me, always make me smile. I can't name all the things I love about you Kitten, I'd sit here for days trying to describe how much I love all of you and it wouldn't be enough" </p><p>Yeonjun preens at the words, standing up to pull Soobin up as well, standing chest to chest in their living room. </p><p>"Can you try? Wanna hear it" </p><p>Because Yeonjun always did need the confirmation, wanted to hear just how much Soobin loves him and has no shame asking for it either. </p><p>"What do you want to hear? That you're the prettiest person I've ever seen in my entire life? How your smile literally saves my day, takes all the bad things in this world away?" </p><p>Yeonjun nods, eyes eager and Soobin can't help but laugh. His boyfriend was just too cute. For once he took the initiative, deciding to abandon his shyness for just long enough to show Yeonjun just how precious he was. </p><p>"Come, we're going back to the bedroom" </p><p>It's not often that Soobin finds his confidence, he can name only three occasions. He had been the one to ask Yeonjun out on their disaster of a first date and started the suggestion of moving into an apartment together. There's also the time Yeonjun had been terrified of a spider under their old fridge so Soobin had been the one to kill that one but other than that he's always taken the backseat. They were trying new things anyways, maybe he should try driving for once. </p><p>"Did you know that I love that you're shorter than me?" Soobin asks with a grin, tightly holding onto Yeonjuns hand as he backs the older up against a wall. Yeonjun at least blushes and shakes his head, peeking up as Soobin closes in. </p><p>"Makes it easier to look at your pretty face. You're so pretty Hyung, love everything about you. I love that your nose is so small, that your eyes disappear when you smile" </p><p>Soobin tickles his sides lightly and Yeonjun chuckles. </p><p>"God, I love the way your cheeks bunch up when you smile" </p><p>He peppers kisses over Yeonjuns face, lightly pressing to everything he loves about his boyfriend, the light of his life. </p><p>"Love your lips the most. How much I love kissing you, I don't think there's words for that" </p><p>Yeonjuns words get interrupted as their lips meet, sweet and soft and Soobin can feel Yeonjun sink into it. </p><p>"This. I love when you melt into me" </p><p>"Binnie…." </p><p>Yeonjuns eyes are teary and Soobin wants nothing but to soothe them but he knows they're not sad tears. With little difficulty he picks Yeonjun up, graceless and not particularly flatteringly but Yeonjun giggles nonetheless, let's himself flop down onto the bed when Soobin let's go to lean over him. Well this is a new perspective, usually he's the one under Yeonjun but seeing his beloved looking up at him, hair fanned out and waiting…. This isn't that bad of a view. </p><p>"God you're so beautiful hyung, you look like an Angel right now" </p><p>They kiss again and Soobin strips away whatever excuse of a shirt Yeonjun had been wearing, throwing it somewhere across the room. </p><p>"Have I ever told you how hot you are? I love taking your taking your clothes off, love touching you" </p><p>His own words are embarrassing to say, said without thinking but Yeonjun preens at every word, blushing a pretty pink and eyes yearning for more so how can he ever stop? Choi Yeonjun will be the death of him. </p><p>He kisses the olders neck, puffy lips leaving invisible traces before lightly sucking over his collarbones. If Yeonjun gets to leave hickeys he should make some too. </p><p>"Bunny, me too-" </p><p>"Shh"</p><p>Soobin coos quietly, cupping Yeonjuns cheeks for a moment before kissing his nose. </p><p>"Don't do anything Kitten. Let me love you like you deserve" </p><p>Yeonjuns breath catches and Soobin grins, shy and pretty before going back to work. He litters kisses over Yeonjuns chest, his shoulder, down his arm before licking over his wrist. </p><p>"I love your fingers. Love it when you open me up for you, so long and perfect. Your hands are so pretty Hyung, would look so good with that nailpolish you keep hiding from me"</p><p>Despite his own racing heartbeat he tries to stay calm, appreciates the way Yeonjun stays so perfectly still for him, a perfect little doll. Soobin sucks two long digits past his lips, just lightly licking against the pads of his fingers before trailing his tongue down the length. He can feel Yeonjuns member pressing you against his thigh, twitching in the confines of boxer briefs and Soobin ignores that on purpose. </p><p>"It's so cute when you try to hide how sensitive you are too, always subtly keeping me away from making you fall apart" </p><p>His free hand lightly flicks over Yeonjuns nipple and the older moans, small and quiet and adorable. </p><p>"Did you think I wouldn't notice? How easily you lose control when I graze them" </p><p>This time he whines, Soobins index circling the hardening bud as he leans down to lick over the other.</p><p>"Soo, please-"</p><p>He hasn't heard that nickname before and looks up to find Yeonjun practically burning, blushing so much even his ears turned a scarlet red. </p><p>"Please what Kitten? Anything you want" </p><p>He hiccups, blinking away tears and Soobin is proud of himself for achieving that. </p><p>"S'a lot. Didn't know" </p><p>Yeonjun stops there, unable to continue and Soobin smiles, cupping his cheek again. Yeonjun once told him how much he liked Soobins large hands, how they make him feel tiny and precious and who is he to deny that. </p><p>"I know kitten, I never told you. I'll make it up to you so you'll never forget" </p><p>With renown confidence he returns to his current task, sucking one dusty pink nub into his mouth while teasing the other with his fingertip. Yeonjun comes absolutely apart, moaning wantonly into the quiet of their bedroom. He doesn't want to tease the older too much so he moves on after what feels like hours, leaving both nipples a rosy shade of pink, surrounded by budding red marks. His lips trail down his torso, ghosting over the hint of abs that becomes more distinct with each shudder. </p><p>"You're so hot hyung, I thank heavens every day that your beautiful self was born into the most beautiful body" he kisses the dark birthmark just over Yeonjuns navel, the little scar on his waist from an accident long before they met. </p><p>"Everything about you is perfect" </p><p>Soobin doesn't need to look up to notice the breath Yeonjun takes as he kisses down the faintest hint of a happy trail, already pulling dark blue briefs down pretty, tan legs. </p><p>He settles between Yeonjuns knees, once again raking his eyes over the beautiful canvas his boyfriend has become before leaning down, trailing his lips over the little blemishes on Yeonjuns thigh while gently biting into them. </p><p>"Do you remember when we first started dating hyung? I was too nervous to go all the way and you let me ride your thighs. Let me make such a mess out of myself and I never got to ask you to let me do it again" </p><p>Soobin closes in, breath ghosting over Yeonjuns hard and straining member but once again his desires are ignored for later so that Soobin could properly appreciate Yeonjuns other leg, absolutely all of him. </p><p>He'd want to turn him around, pepper kisses and rain praises over Yeonjuns broad back and beautiful behind but he fears his kitten would actually fall apart if he teased him any more. Even now the older was holding onto his last bits of reason, bed sheets balled up in his fists. He's so cute. </p><p>Soobins long fingers easily wrap around the base of Yeonjuns member, slightly pulsing against his palm. </p><p>"Never did tell you how much I love your cock, did I kitten?" </p><p>Just saying it out loud makes Soobin want to die but it's all worth it for the way Yeonjun moans, cursing under his breath. </p><p>"Love it so much. Love the way you fuck me open Hyung, fill me up so well I can't think of anything but you" </p><p>He leans down, licking over the head a few times and uses the precum Yeonjun was basically leaking to move his hand easier. </p><p>"Love you so much Yeonjunie hyung, every part of you. It's always been only you" </p><p>Soobin wants to lean down again but Yeonjun shivers, gasps and releases in short spurts over his hand, some reaching his cheek. </p><p>"Binnie- Soobinie love you too. God I love you so much" </p><p>He giggles, reaching for the wet wipes inside their bedside drawer to clean up Yeonjuns groin and his hand and face before throwing himself right next to his lover, cuddling Yeonjun close to his chest. Well at least he tries to until Yeonjun presses kisses all over his face. </p><p>"You're so precious Bunny, thank you. Love you so dearly" </p><p>"Love you too Hyung, so much" </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content: First time, Anal fingering, Anal Sex, Fluff lol </p><p>Thank you for New_here (https://archiveofourown.org/users/New_here/pseuds/New_here) in the comments for requesting this! I didn't want to post on April fool's day but I hope it's a sweet little flashback</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>Flashback: Soobins <strike>crisis</strike> First time</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Taehyun-ah…." </p><p>Soobin nearly sobbed, curled together in front of his closet with his phone pressed to his ear. Taehyun almost didn't bother answering. </p><p>"What is it hyung?" </p><p>"Help me, I-I think I'm having a panic attack" </p><p>"Soobin hyung you're fine. You're not having a panic attack right now, you're just nervous. Can you tell me why?" </p><p>Why? Hell, why wouldn't Soobin be a nervous mess when his boyfriend just asked him to come over. Spend the night he'd said. That's totally an invitation! He'd always known this day would come, has looked forward to it even but now that it's here he has absolutely no idea what to do. Calling Taehyun just seemed like the right thing to do. </p><p>"Hyunie he invited me over. I can't- I can't go" </p><p>"Well you don't have to. If you don't wanna fuck him then skip the date or tell him no. He's a sane person, I don't think he'd mind waiting" </p><p>And Yeonjun probably wouldn't mind waiting a bit longer for Soobin to get his shit together but that's not what he wants. Yeonjun had been so amazing during all their dates, nothing but patient and loving and Soobin couldn't imagine sharing his first time with anyone else but he's absolutely terrified. Yeonjun has had boyfriends and girlfriends before, Yeonjun probably knows what he's doing and Soobin is about as graceless as a newborn baby giraffe trying to walk. There's no way Yeonjun would be into it. </p><p>Besides, he has nothing to wear. His closet is made out of nothing but comfortable clothes, just picking out things for their dates was hard enough and it's not like he owns any flattering underwear either. What is the appropriate style for spending the night at your boyfriend's place, why is the internet not helping him. </p><p>"Since you aren't answering I'm guessing you're trying to go through with this. I'll send Beomgyu hyung over to help you" </p><p>"Thank you Hyun. You're a lifesaver, you know that?" </p><p>"Whatever, good luck hyung" </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun had invited him for 6pm so that's the time Soobin rings the doorbell. It's not like he's been waiting at the front door for ten minutes just to make sure he wasn't late, then panicked about being early and sat in the cold until his phone showed double zeros. </p><p>That would be absurd. </p><p>Yeonjun let's him in and Soobin has never been more grateful that he lives on the bottom floor. He could see Yeonjuns gaze wander over his tall form when he walked down the hallway. Beomgyu had the hardest time finding a nice outfit for today but the slightly oversized white sweater and his only pair of black jeans went surprisingly well with each other. Plus he'd had his makeup done, the lightest hint of blush on his cheeks and waterproof eyeliner at the corners of his eyes, obviously from Beomgyus collection. </p><p>"You look good Bunny. Did you get pretty for me?" </p><p>Yeonjun teases once he's close enough, cupping Soobins face and he might have a heart attack right here right now. </p><p>"D-does it look weird?" </p><p>Any anxiety gets kissed away by Yeonjuns soft pink lips against his cheek. </p><p>"Not at all, you look great Soobinie. Now I feel like a potato in my own home" </p><p>As if Yeonjun could ever not look amazing. Even now he looks ready to walk the runway, black ripped jeans hugging his thighs, a sea blue T-shirt hanging loosely off his shoulder, black hair fluffed up and falling just short of his eyes. Yeonjun always looks stunning and Soobin has no idea why he'd give him his time of day. </p><p>"Come on in. I ordered Chinese earlier, I wasn't sure if you'd be hungry. Anything to drink?" </p><p>"Just water is fine" </p><p>He follows the older inside, looking around the apartment. He's never been at Yeonjuns place before but it's exactly like he imagined it. The living space was open, mostly held in black and white with small accents of vivid blue. The kitchen was separated by a bar-like countertop where Yeonjun put two glasses of water for them. </p><p>"It's pretty. You live alone?" </p><p>"Yeah, I moved out when University started. There was a lot of water damage and so in here so I managed to snag a deal in exchange for fixing up a few things" </p><p>Soobin hummed, sitting one one of the high chairs to take a few sips of water. He still lives at home, mostly out of convenience then necessity but if possible he'd like to move out soon as well. </p><p>"Want me to give you a tour?" </p><p>Yeonjun asked kindly, smiling so brightly his eyes disappeared and Soobin couldn't refuse even if he tried. </p><p>"Mhm" </p><p>Yeonjun rounded the counter and reached his hand out so Soobin took it, lightly squeezing. It wasn't big but it was bright, a bathroom hidden away to the left while a little room next to it served as a walk in closet. </p><p>"If I had to put all these in my room I wouldn't have space for my bed" </p><p>Yeonjun had joked but Soobin can totally see that happen with the heaps of fabric in that room.</p><p>"And this is my bedroom. We can share the bed tonight?" </p><p>Yeonjun is kind when he asks and Soobin nods, aimlessly walking around the enclosed space. Yeonjuns room is just like him, an organized chaos of papers on his desk, the neat collection of albums in one of the shelves, walls painted white with blue accents towards the sils. </p><p>"You're better organized than I thought hyung" </p><p>"I cleaned up before you got here, you'd have a heart attack if you saw the normal state of this room" </p><p>He laughed, having been witness to inside of Yeonjuns bags of chaos it isn't hard to imagine what the room might look like on any normal day. </p><p>"Is it that funny?" </p><p>Soobin stopped laughing when Yeonjun stepped closer, long fingers tapping against his waist and they're close. </p><p>"I-I guess not"</p><p>The blush comes naturally as does the anxiety that follows, unable to meet his boyfriend's gaze. </p><p>"You're so cute"</p><p>Now it was Yeonjuns turn to chuckle, low and borderline seductive and Soobin was going to lose all his marbles. </p><p>"Can I kiss you Binnie?" </p><p>They've kissed so often since they started going out but never once did Yeonjun ask like this, pressing their bodies close and almost whispering. He wasn't just asking for a kiss, there's a whole lot more going on behind that question and Soobin feels so nervous he might actually throw up. Still, he wants this. Just wants to fully give himself to Yeonjun because a stupid, naive part of his brain knows that this is it, this is forever and Soobin wants to believe that so badly. </p><p>"Y-yeah. Yes, please" </p><p>This kiss is different from their other ones. It isn't hurried or even needy, if anything it's so much softer than anything they shared before. Yeonjuns lips are slightly sticky, the hint of pink lipgloss reminding him of strawberries. Soobin never wants to ends this, heart mellowing out and beating in synch with Yeonjuns own as he closes any gaps between them. </p><p>"Can I?" </p><p>Yeonjun whispers against his lips and Soobin doesn't respond, just kisses him again, slow and absolutely perfect. Yeonjuns fingertips are cold against his skin, his little shiver followed by apologetic pecks. </p><p>They're on the bed before Soobin can start panicking, Yeonjun leaning over him and kissing him absolutely senseless. There's a tug on his sweater and the next second it's gone completely. Ah, there's the panic. </p><p>"Hyung- Junnie, I-" </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>Yeonjun looks up at him, almond shaped eyes dark with want and Soobin can't hide how much he loves that. There was something he wanted to say, it could have been 'stop' or 'no, not yet', anything but those words wouldn't leave his lips. Yeonjun was patient, almost perfectly still as he waited for Soobin to speak. </p><p>"...please be gentle" </p><p>Is all he could muster, so utterly lost in the darkness of the olders gaze and the blinding smile that followed.</p><p>"Always baby, would never hurt you" </p><p>They kiss again, Yeonjun licking into his mouth to erase the last bits of his sanity before moving down, breath warm over Soobins overheated skin. The touches stray, ghosting over his narrow waist and pale stomach, pressing into the sensitive skin of his nipples and down, always down. Soobins jeans fly away moments later and this is unfamiliar territory now. </p><p>"You'll have to open up Binnie, I'll need a little more space" </p><p>Yeonjun coos, sweet and light as he taps the outside of Soobins thighs to coax them into making space between them. </p><p>"No" </p><p>"....no?" </p><p>"No" </p><p>Soobin pouts, cheeks pink and tense and he's <em>nervous.</em> He can't feel half his body, how is he supposed to spread his legs right now. Yeonjun looks surprised but giggles a moment later, just nodding as he kisses Soobins nose. </p><p>"All right. You don't have to, it's at your pace baby. Want me to fetch your clothes for you?" </p><p>Some part of his better thinking brain wants to say 'yes' and maybe 'thank you' but another part wishes Yeonjun had been a little more insistent. </p><p>"Why are only my clothes gone anyways?" </p><p>The subtle complaint resonates in the room before Soobin can recognize it as his own voice and Yeonjun looks intrigued, smirking openly. </p><p>"Oh? I mean, I can always take them off for you" </p><p>And he does, pulling his shirt over his head without hesitation before undoing the belt Soobin hadn't even noticed. </p><p>They've made out before, in the backseat of Yeonjuns car on their third date, in Soobins bedroom before his parents came home but there was never space or time to remove clothes. Soobin had known Yeonjun was fit, being a dance and physical education major and all, but he didn't really expect all of this, the abs, the pecs and the way his arms flexed when he pulled his belt out? Soobin might just be in for it, how did he get himself a boyfriend this hot?</p><p>"Is this better now?" </p><p>Honestly, he doesn't know. Yeonjun being about as undressed as himself was definitely better but the visual was short circuiting his brain. He isn't drooling, right? </p><p>"You're staring" </p><p>Yeonjun teases, smirking like he knows just exactly how good he looks and Soobin is pissed and simultaneously turned on. </p><p>"Shut up" </p><p>"Will do princess" </p><p>Soobin wants to throw the nearest object at Yeonjuns head. <em>Princess.</em> The embarrassment was settling so deep in his bones it burned him from the inside out, <em>Princess,</em> of all things. </p><p>"Don't call me that again, m'not a princess" </p><p>He conveniently ignores the heat in his cheeks as he says it out loud and tentatively pulls Yeonjun closer once more, legs wrapping around his waist to make him fall down over him. There's another chuckle before they go back to making out as if they'd never stopped though the atmosphere from before feels significantly lighter now. Yeonjun grinds into him, carefully as if testing the waters and Soobin moans quietly into the kiss. When did he get hard? </p><p>"Lemme go, I gotta get the lube" </p><p>Yeonjun mumbles and Soobin obliges unwillingly, lets his legs unwrap and lay propped up to Yeonjuns sides as he grabs a bottle of lube and condoms from the bedside drawer. Yeonjun is thoughtful to take his jeans off first, Soobin more or less openly staring at his toned thighs before quickly looking away from the sizable bulge hidden barely by black briefs. </p><p>"Can I?" </p><p>Yeonjun asks again and this time Soobin complies a little bit more easily, raising his hips and letting Yeonjun take off his boxers, hard member laying serenely on his stomach. </p><p>"D-don't stare" </p><p>Soobin forces out, for once winning over his irrational mind and trying to close his legs again despite the human between them. Yeonjun is looking at him, all of him, and whatever little insecurities he has bounce around his head. </p><p>"Can't help it, you're so pretty" </p><p>The older coos, coaxing Soobins thighs apart once more before wrapping his hand around his member.</p><p>Heaven or Hell, Soobin surely is going somewhere tonight. The sounds he makes don't even sound like himself, cut off breaths and whines of pleasure while Yeonjun strokes him slowly. He almost misses the sound of the bottle cap clipping open, Yeonjuns hand leaving him in shatters to warm up the lube between his fingers. </p><p>"Have you ever fingered yourself before Binnie?" </p><p>He wants to curl up in a ball and die, how can Yeonjun just say things like this as if he was talking about the weather and not whether or not Soobin had shoved his fingers up his behind before. </p><p>"S-sometimes but not- not really" </p><p>He's never gotten much further than two fingers but that didn't even feel half as good as the pad of Yeonjuns finger does, pressing against his virgin hole. </p><p>"Relax sweetie, I'll take care of you" </p><p>Soobin tries to relax, taking a few deep breaths before Yeonjun eases the first digit inside. It's so weird, he's done this before but because it's not his own hand it feels so much better. </p><p>"Tell me when I should add another" </p><p>He nods, easily finding peace as Yeonjun thrusts his finger into him slowly, caressing his walls in ways Soobin never experienced before. </p><p>"I think I'm okay now" </p><p>He notes quietly and Yeonjun hums, slicking his fingers up once more before pushing two inside. The stretch is more noticeable now but it's so good. It doesn't take long for Soobin to moan quietly, wordlessly giving Yeonjun the go ahead to go prodding against his walls, scissoring him open while looking for the elusive sweet spot that Soobin always has trouble finding himself.</p><p>"You good Binnie?" </p><p>"Mhm, feels good" </p><p>Yeonjun grins and kisses the inside of his thigh lightly before pushing in a third and last finger. Soobin can almost see stars, biting his bottom lip to keep quiet while Yeonjun fingers him open carefully, spreading his fingers a bit and pushing in, past the second knuckle and down. </p><p>"Ah! Again, oh my god Hyung, hng" </p><p>The pleasure makes his toes curl and Yeonjun definitely knows, incessantly rubbing the pads of his fingers right over his prostate and it feels so good but it's not enough. </p><p>"Think you're ready babe?" </p><p>"Yes, Junnie hyung please" </p><p>He begs, desperate for more and wanting to feel Yeonjun closer, be connected to him as one. His hole feels empty as Yeonjun pulls his fingers away, fluttering around nothing while Yeonjun rips the condom open with his teeth, wiping his lube covered hand against the bed to put it on properly. Only now does Soobin get a proper look at Yeonjuns dick and he's bigger than anticipated. Obviously he knows it'll fit, he's not naive enough to actually ask that but it is a little intimidating. </p><p>"I'll go slow, tell me when it's too much" </p><p>Soobin nods, letting his head fall back to empty his thoughts as he feels the tip press against his rim. The lube does it's job and Yeonjun pushes inside slowly as promised but it doesn't seem to end. He's left gasping when he just keeps pushing inside, well past where his fingers went by the time he's fully inside. It's a little painful, he's never felt so full before in his entire life but it's good. Feels good to be full. </p><p>Yeonjun waits, perfectly still even as his hands tremble against the inside of Soobins thighs, for Soobin to give the go ahead. He might just start crying, trying and failing to relax against the intrusion, chest heaving. </p><p>"Calm down Binnie" </p><p>Yeonjun coos, reaching for his hand to intertwine their fingers and that does help a little bit. </p><p>"M'sorry" </p><p>"Don't be Soobinie, I got you. Does it hurt?" </p><p>A shake of his head because it doesn't hurt much, not enough to make such a fuss anyways. </p><p>"Just… it's a lot. Feels weird" </p><p>"A good weird or a bad weird?" </p><p>"A good one" </p><p>The older smiles, pressing a kiss to Soobins knuckles before pulling out a little and thrusting back inside. Soobins moan is immediate, eyes falling shut as Yeonjun continues rocking into him slowly while never letting go of their joined hands. There's no rush, their pace picking up a bit before slowing down as Yeonjun leans down to kiss him gently. At some point Yeonjun changed angles, perfectly sliding against his sweet spot every single time and Soobin would be damned if he stopped kissing Yeonjun to moan his name. </p><p>His mind is clouded, filled with nothing but pleasure and thoughts of Yeonjun over and over again. Just as he's close there's a hand around his member, stroking him in time with Yeonjuns thrusts while Soobin holds onto his boyfriend for dear life. </p><p>There's no warning. Soobin climaxes with tears in his eyes, curling towards Yeonjun and releasing all over his hand. He helps him through it, whispering sweet nothings against his lips while his thrusts slow to a stop. They exist together for a few moments, entangled and beautiful and Soobin doesn't think this is real anymore. </p><p>"Let me get something to clean you up" </p><p>Another kiss to his nose before Soobin feels empty once more but filled with love instead. It's a minute or two before Yeonjun returns, cleaning him off before pulling him under the covers for cuddles. </p><p>"....didn't you say you ordered food?" </p><p>"It'll be here later tonight, take a nap first Binnie" </p><p>"You had this all planned out didn't you!" </p><p>"I didn't plan for you to look so pretty" </p><p>"Oh my God" </p><p>Yeonjun laughs again, warm like sunshine and Soobin can't help chuckling along, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Playtime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content: Light bondage, handcuffs, blindfold, dumbification (??), Dirty talk, slight exhibitionism, sex toys, coming inside, multiple orgasms, crying, overstimulation, name calling</p><p>Thanks to crazydays2 (https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazydays2/pseuds/crazydays2) in the comments for suggesting such an amazing plot! </p><p>So... I went a little nuts with this one. I let the story get ahead of me and it ended up like this. This isn't proper description of bdsm etiquette, never just introduce a sub to a scene like this out of the blue without discussing limits or rules. </p><p>Everything about this is done with Soobins consent but it's not explicitly given. Always await verbal confirmation, don't assume consent. No answer does not translate to a yes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's a week after Soobin has agreed to let Yeonjun bring some spice into their bedroom. He's run out of concealer by now but the bruises on his neck are finally fading away. Beomgyu has given him The Look™ for the first few days since he came to class wearing a turtleneck and or scarf halfway through spring but has thankfully said nothing so he assumes Taehyun didn't tell on him. It's nice to know he can trust his friends. </p><p>Meanwhile, home life with Yeonjun has been absolutely wonderful. It's like their honeymoon stage all over again, Yeonjun has been nothing if not attentive and sweet. To be honest it's slightly suspicious but Soobin has decided to keep that to himself until after their date today. Yeonjun planned for them to go to Soobins favorite pizza place by the Riverside with promises of strawberry cake from his favorite cafe uptown. Obviously there's nothing wrong with any of that, it promises to be one of their quieter dates but that doesn't mean Soobin can't be suspicious. Yeonjun definitely has something planned. </p><p>Needless to say, he wasn't wrong often when it comes to Yeonjun and suspicions. </p><p>"..... So. A sex shop?" </p><p>He deadpans, having been dragged down two alleys to find the blacked out shop window with a surprisingly simple sign that reads, who would've thought, 'sex shop' in bubblegum pink font. </p><p>"I figured we should choose a few things together, figure out what you might like, what I like"</p><p>Soobin looks down at Yeonjun, the puppy dog eyes and tentative smile and this is why Yeonjun has been so nice to him this past week. It was bribery. </p><p>On any normal day Soobin wouldn't even look in the general direction of a shop like this. He has no business going inside anyways and just the thought of being surrounded by phallic objects makes his stomach lurch. </p><p>"I don't think this is a good idea Junnie hyung" </p><p>"Just for a little? We don't have to buy anything, let's just look around a bit" </p><p>Soobin still doesn't know how he feels about this but he's always been bad at saying no to Yeonjun so why not. He can just stand in a corner and let Yeonjun look around or something. </p><p>"Just for a bit. And you're paying at the pizza place" </p><p>"It's all on me, let's go" </p><p>Yeonjun grins and takes his hand, leading the way inside and Soobin can feel his cheeks colour the second the door closes behind them. It's better than he'd imagined, the fluorescent lighting rainbow coloured along the walls as if to guide the way, most things hidden inside glass cases like a jewelry store with more… mundane objects lining the walls. Soobin is brought back to the videos he found in Yeonjuns browser history whenever his eyes wander, imagining what could be done with them. He's going to die right here. </p><p>"Hey, welcome to our shop! Anything specific you're looking for today?" </p><p>The young store clerk asks, a girl about their age and someone's seen them oh god. Soobin instinctively hides behind Yeonjun, just subtly trying to divert attention as he squeezed his hand. </p><p>"We're just looking around a bit. Is there anything you'd recommend for people new to the community?" </p><p>Yeonjun seems so nonchalant, as if he was asking about fashion and not through a literal sex shop. Soobins mouth goes dry, this whole thing was a mistake. </p><p>"Of course, just follow me. In general we recommend sensory play if you're just trying to dabble a bit into it. One of our bestsellers would be this sort of necktie. The fabric is fairly thick so it makes for a great blindfold or even a gag" </p><p>She reaches for a navy blue necktie, unsuspecting between other, similar items along the yellow corner but Soobin can feel his heart racing. </p><p>"You can try it on if you'd like"</p><p>She's so easygoing about this and Soobin flushes more, having some sort of out of body experience when Yeonjun hums, lightly pushes his shoulder down to be more accommodating for the smaller female. She steps behind him and lays the fabric over his eyes, not quite tying it. </p><p>"It completely blackens out any light and is very soft so it doesn't irritate much even if it's being moved" </p><p>Soobin isn't moving, can't move because he'd immediately lose any orientation he has currently. Being unable to see is scary, not knowing what exactly is around him is scary and the sudden touch to his neck from the front has him bite down a whimper. It's scary but not bad. </p><p>"Could we try the handcuffs as well? My boyfriend is a little sensitive" </p><p>"Of course, would you prefer padded ones?" </p><p>The blindfold leaves together with the store clerk who's moving to another area to fetch some. Soobin has to blink against the neon light, holding onto Yeonjun a little tighter than before. </p><p>"You good baby?" </p><p>"I don't think I liked that" </p><p>".... Okay" </p><p>She's back all too soon, three pairs of cuffs hanging off her arm. </p><p>"It really depends on how much freedom you'd want to give your boyfriend with these. For first timers maybe something with a little more give?" </p><p>Yeonjun agrees for him and the clerk is already on it, taking one of Soobins wrists and fastening the metal cuff onto it. It's padded with green fur, only the actual clasp cold against his wrist but the feeling is weird. Like a loose bracelet. It's when Yeonjun offers her the other wrist as well that the whole thing gets interesting, wrists cuffed together with only a few centimeters between them. </p><p>"We have various standard lengths here but if you'd prefer something more specific we do custom orders as well" </p><p>Soobin kind of tunes her out, letting go of Yeonjuns hand to tug on the handcuffs a little m they're soft against most of his wrist which he appreciates but what little give they have does nothing to calm his anxiety. This he's definitely seen in the videos before. </p><p>"You good Binnie?" </p><p>Yeonjun calls, sweet and kind and Soobin doesn't know if he's okay. He's terrified of the part of himself that's okay with this. </p><p>"I don't know. I feel like we should leave" </p><p>"Okay, let's just wait for her to come back with the keys for these"</p><p>Soobin nods, trying to calm himself a little bit as Yeonjuns hand lays flat on his lower back, reassuring and protective. At least that's what it felt like at first but then the have moved lower and lower until Yeonjun is openly groping his behind in the middle of the goddamn shop. </p><p>"Hyung stop-" </p><p>Soobin tries to push Yeonjuns arm away but the cuffs are in the way, stopping his movement just short of reaching his goal. Logically speaking he could step away, turn his body or something but he's left staring at his wrists, blushing in shame because Yeonjun doesn't stop. </p><p>"Like I thought. You're a lot dirtier than you say, aren't you Bunny?" </p><p>Soobins heart drops, eyes closing because that's not true. He isn't dirty, he's not into all of this like Yeonjun obviously is. He doesn't enjoy this but the words aren't coming out. </p><p>"I think I'd like to buy a few things. Why don't you go on outside and wait in the car?" </p><p>It's not a question, it's never been a question in the first place but Soobin nods anyways, letting the smiling girl take off his handcuffs before heading outside to have a crisis in the car. Yeonjun is wrong, he's not into this kind of stuff, he's just willing to put up with all his nonsense at his own expense. Why in all hell would he enjoy being unable to move or see or do anything while Yeonjun basically uses him for his own pleasure, that makes no sense. </p><p>Speaking of the devil incarnate, Yeonjun gets into the drivers seat, tossing a bag behind him before turning his attention to Soobin again. </p><p>"I'm driving home" </p><p>It's not a question, not a proposition, he's simply informing Soobin of his choice. Soobin wants to protest, at least go get some late lunch at the pizza place because Yeonjun said he'd treat him but the part he doesn't want to acknowledge is happy that they're heading home now. </p><p>"I bought a few things, I'd like to try them on you. I love you Binnie, but I don't think you've been completely honest with what you like so I'm not going to stop when you say no. We'll use a safeword when we're home, you can think of something. When you say it I'll stop, is that okay?" </p><p>Yeonjun was still smiling, innocent and sweet but the time of his voice was dark, so unlike him that Soobin didn't know how to look at him properly. A safeword, what the hell did they need a safeword for, isn't that a bit too much? What would that even be, he can't think of anything right now. </p><p>"O-okay"</p><p>The rest of the drive was spent in silence, Soobin trying to distract himself by looking out of the window while Yeonjun hummed along the radio, driving them home safely. Silence isn't something he's used to, Yeonjun usually chatters enough for the two of them and it makes him nervous, antsy. </p><p>"Have you thought of anything yet?" </p><p>He asks in the elevator and Soobin freezes when he locks eyes with the older. They're dark, his gaze cold and only accentuated by an evil smirk. In the confined space of the elevator Soobin feels trapped like prey before a predator. </p><p>"I asked you a question, Bunny" </p><p>Soobin has never felt so small before, Yeonjuns hand on his hip so warm. </p><p>"Carrot" </p><p>He says softly, the association almost ridiculous but Yeonjun hums, steps closer, cages him further with nowhere to go. </p><p>"You're so cute when you look scared" </p><p>The doors open and Yeonjun leaves as if Soobin didn't just nearly have a heart attack, trailing behind with his head hung low. He's scared, nearly terrified of the way Yeonjun acts right now but for some reason he doesn't hate it. There's something wrong with him. </p><p>"Undress and lay down" </p><p>Yeonjun says, orders, once they're inside the apartment, doors closed, pointing towards the bedroom. Soobin doesn't hesitate, looking at the dark pink plastic bag once before heading to the bedroom, closing the door to have a moment to himself, to deal with all of this. </p><p> </p><p>He has to stop this. This, it can't be healthy to feel this anxious around your boyfriend, sex is supposed to be enjoyable not give him anxiety attacks. He should just go out there and tell Yeonjun that, whatever this is, it won't be going down. </p><p>
  <em>But why not? </em>
</p><p>The darkest part of his mind whispers while Soobin strips his shirt over his head. </p><p>
  <em>Isn't this exciting? Isn't this exactly what he's wanted since day one? Yeonjun taking charge, being demanding, almost mean? Hadn't he wanted nothing more but to give himself up to Yeonjun completely? </em>
</p><p>His stomach churns in some weird mixture of anxiety and <em>excitement</em>, excited for what? Why? </p><p>By the time Yeonjun opens the door Soobin is undressed, back against the mattress and legs pulled up for some sort of modesty. </p><p>"Can tell me what your safeword is again, Binnie?" </p><p>Yeonjun sits next to him, loosely holding his hand and Soobin feels like throwing up again. </p><p>"C-carrot" </p><p>"Good boy. Say it whenever you feel like you wanna stop okay? Don't think too much about using it" </p><p>That's not a problem, Soobin really doesn't want to think anymore at all if that stupid voice is going to lie to him again. </p><p>Yeonjun leans down and the second he holds up the necktie from the shop. He moves closer, pushes Soobins legs apart easily and leans forward slightly. The position is so familiar and so strange at the same time as Yeonjun flexes the soft material between his hands. </p><p>"Head up" </p><p>Soobin complies easily, breath stuttering when Yeonjun ties the thick fabric over his eyes, the knot flat behind his head. He's blinded once again but somehow the familiarity of their shared bedroom doesn't help his fright at all. He has no idea what Yeonjun is about to do, can't see anything. It's horrible. Perfect </p><p>"Reach your hands up" </p><p>Once again Soobin moves without further instruction, whining at the softness around his wrists and the telltale 'click' of the cuffs. He tuggs on them experimentally, finds that Yeonjun must have looped them around one of the metal poles of their bed frame because he can't pull them down. He's stuck like this while Yeonjun trails his fingertips down his torso, teases his nipples lightly. </p><p>"You said you didn't like it in the shop but you're already leaking, Bunny. You should stop lying to yourself" </p><p>"M'not lying. It was so weird in there hyung" </p><p>"Yet here you are, barely even touched you and you're so excited already" </p><p>Soobin can't deny the obvious, he's been hard since he sat in the car and frustratingly enough it didn't disappear like he'd subconsciously hoped it to. </p><p>"What did it for you, hm? Being blindfolded in public? I was right there but you probably had all kinds of things running through that dirty little mind of yours" </p><p>It almost didn't sound like Yeonjun anymore, tone so low and words so mean. Yeonjun never spoke to him like this before, usually always calls him lovingly and not, not like this. The bed dipped and any touch left him, Yeonjun gone from the bed. He's probably still in the room, watching him but Soobin can't see him, doesn't even know where to look. It's like Yeonjun disappeared and he feels exposed, naked and chained up in his own home. </p><p>"Probably thinking of some stranger coming in, taking advantage of you. Forcing your legs apart and fucking into you roughly, maybe keeping that pretty mouth of yours busy" </p><p>Soobin gasped, shaking his head no, pulling his legs up again in a useless attempt to hide himself away. </p><p>"No- Hyung stop, don't wanna-" </p><p>"Shut up" </p><p>A hand- Yeonjuns hand, his brain supplies quickly- squishes his face, holding his jaw almost painfully hard before long fingers are shoved into his mouth without care, pressing his tongue down. </p><p>"If you aren't going to say your word I don't wanna hear it, got it?" </p><p>To his own shock and horror be moans, nodding quickly. Yeonjun at least seems amused, laughing at him before pulling his fingers away. </p><p>"If I wasn't so sure you'd choke on it I'd probably fuck your face. We gotta get you better at sucking cock one of these days, you have the lips for it" </p><p>Another tap to his lips and the fingers are gone, replaced by nothing and Soobin tears up behind the blindfold as his cock twitches in interest. Fuck. </p><p>"When did you close these? Spread your legs before I tie those to the bed as well" </p><p>This time he refuses, appalled by the way his boyfriend is talking to him, wanting this to just end so they can go back to cuddling and watching movies or whatever. </p><p>"Didn't you hear me? Or is my slut too dumb to follow simple instructions now?" </p><p>His whole body twitches at the word, blushing up to his ears. </p><p>"I'm not a slut! Yeonjun stop, this isn't funny" </p><p>"Are you going to use your word?" </p><p>He wants to, he'd like to say it right now and have some serious words with Yeonjun about that right this instant but again he says nothing, mouth shutting while his legs fall open in defeat. </p><p>"Thought so. I should've done this so much sooner but you played your part well. Almost had me thinking you were an innocent little bunny but that's not all true, is it?" </p><p>There's another clicking sound, like a bottle popping open but nothing else to follow to follow. He expects nothing much, probably Yeonjun us just going to finger him open and fuck him a little harder than usual but what could- </p><p>Oh that's not Yeonjuns finger. That's- what the hell is that. It's hard and roundish and oh god it's going inside him. </p><p>"No, bunny was just too stupid to realize what it really wanted. It's okay, I'll be nice and teach you today" </p><p>He'd like to argue but there's another hard, round thing, slightly bigger than the first slipping past his rim and it's weird. There's another one following right after and this time it hurts a little before it drops inside him. What the hell is that. </p><p>"You look so confused, anything the matter?" </p><p>Soobin nods, wanting to ask what the hell Yeonjun was forcing inside him right now but a fourth and fifth ball thing go inside him and one of them presses against his prostate. He's left moaning, twitching when Yeonjun shifts them around a little and this has to be done sort of torture. </p><p>"I think you can take two more, what do you say? God you probably don't even know what's inside you right now, do you?" </p><p>Two more of what, he doesn't think he wants whatever this is any deeper inside him than they are right now but it's not like Yeonjun would listen to him right now. All he can do here is lay down and take anyways. Soobin doesn't like that thought. </p><p>"Please, no more, hyung can't take it" </p><p>"I know that you can, don't bother worrying" </p><p>"No, no pleaaaaaah-"</p><p>How many has it been by now? There's another ball, bead, pearl, whatever, going inside him, definitely bigger than the last one. It hurts, opens him up too suddenly and Yeonjun just let's it sit there, halfway inside to force his rim to stretch around it. </p><p>"There you go. Do you know how big this one is baby? Almost like my cock. Doesn't it feel good?"</p><p>It doesn't, it feels weird and foreign and the beads that went in first keep rolling over his sweet spot, he's going to black out. </p><p>"No more, please hyung, please take them out" </p><p>He doesn't know when he started crying but he is now, sobbing as it drops inside him and he's so full. By now they're in deeper than Yeonjuns cock and it hurts, it's too much. He struggles against the restraints, trying to twist away but that only makes it worse. </p><p>"Want me to take them out bun?" </p><p>"Yes- yes please hyung, please take them out" </p><p>"Alright Bunny, can you roll over for me?" </p><p>Yeonjun sounds nice again, sweet like always and Soobin would do anything if Yeonjun just keeps talking to him like this. The hands on his hips help his shit sense of balance as he tries to settle on his knees like he'd done the week before, now even less give to the cuffs. </p><p>"You really are just the dumbest little bunny aren't you?" </p><p>"No, no hyung please don't, hngaa, no, hyung no" </p><p>Soobin is half sure he's forgotten any safe word by now, yet another bead pressing to his entrance and threatening to spread him open. Yeonjun lied to him, fucking tricked him and he fell for it. </p><p>"You're so cute, you actually thought I'd take them out didn't you. Oh you're in for such a surprise" </p><p>Soobin almost screams when the last bead forces itself into him, a flat surface promising the end of that. They're in so deep and they move and he's going to faint, this is how he'll die. </p><p>"Does this feel good baby?" </p><p>"No, hate it, take them out hyung please I'm begging you" </p><p>"That's so funny of you to say. Did you know you already came bunny? You've been dripping onto the bed for a while now" </p><p>And no, he didn't know, doesn't remember anything but it doesn't sound like a lie this time. </p><p>"It's good that at least your body is honest but what else to expect from a dumb bunny. Try not to scream so much" </p><p>There's a slight push to the beads again and the world turns white. There's no time to scream, moans of all volumes falling from his lips. They vibrate, the electric whirring sound barely noticeable but his prostate knows, has one of them presses right to it and it's killing him. </p><p>Yeonjuns gone again, no voice, nothing but his own moans and it's agonizing, humiliating in a way when he comes again, sobbing into the blindfold. It hurts, goes past pleasure and into something painful too quickly but he can't form a sentence right now. </p><p>"There we go. Feels better?"</p><p>The vibrations stop, one after another the pearls are pulled from his body and Soobin almost collapses. He nods, beyond tired and fucked stupid, too sensitive. </p><p>"We're not done yet baby, think you can go for a bit more or would you like to use your safeword?" </p><p>Safeword? Oh right, they had that. Carrot. Does that even matter right now? He's never felt this good before. </p><p>Yeonjun seems to accept the lack of verbal answer for now, pressing kisses to Soobins back as he guides his member inside. The younger can only moan, broken and needy as Yeonjun thrusts into him. At some point the handcuffs were probably taken off his wrists but he's too tired to move them anyways, letting Yeonjun refasten them at the small of his back before pulling him up. They move somehow, Soobin lost orientation a while ago, but the angle is absolutely perfect, right up against every sweet spot he has. </p><p>"I'll take the blindfold off now" </p><p>Yeonjun warns but Soobin doesn't care anymore, lazily blinks against the light to look in front of him. They're sideways on the bed he notes, their standing mirror pushed up against his closet and he can see himself. </p><p>"No…" </p><p>"It's okay baby, look how pretty you are right now" </p><p>Soobin wishes he could hide, tugs at his restraints while Yeonjun continues fucking into him. His thighs are spread so he can watch, see exactly how Yeonjuns cock disappears into him over and over again, his own spent member curving up against his stomach, cheeks blotched with tears.</p><p>He looks wrecked. Whatever marks were left from last week are glaring back at him through the mirror, dried cum on his thighs, probably his own from earlier. The purple toy next to him must've been the beads from earlier, discarded next to a bottle of lube and the Navy blindfold. </p><p>"You look beautiful baby, so perfect for me. My dumb, pretty baby" </p><p>Soobin sobs again and nods, cums one last time. It hurts at this point, mostly clear liquid dripping from the tip and down the shaft. Yeonjun continues pushing into him until he's sensitive and spent, can almost feel the way Yeonjun releases deep inside him. </p><p>Soobin almost falls asleep the second Yeonjun lays him back down and finally puts the handcuffs away. He's empty and whines, turning back into his front because not having anything inside him right now is the worst. Not a second later there's a slight push at his hole and he's filled again, stretched comfortably around something, he doesn't care anymore. Just wants Yeonjun with him, needs cuddles, to know that even if he's a dumb baby his boyfriend still loves him. </p><p>"It's okay Binnie, I'm here. You don't have to keep crying" </p><p>Soobin nods, letting Yeonjun wipe away the last of his tears and lay him on his chest. </p><p>"Sorry if it was too much" </p><p>"Hm, s'okay. Love you hyung" </p><p>"Love you too Soobin-ah, sleep well" </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Movie time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content: Spanking, choking, Angst and Fluff, a fuckton of plot</p><p>Another thanks to crazydays2 (https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazydays2/pseuds/crazydays2) for giving me the plot idea and to an anonymous user for requesting such a kink. It's probably turned out a little differently than imagined but I hope it's still enjoyable!</p><p>This chapter was getting too long so it's split into two parts. The author wants you to know that she's typing this from the pits of hell and regrets absolutely nothing. If her mental state allows, an update will follow within the next twelve hours. </p><p>Enjoy this mess</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Monday morning, Soobin is pretty sure he doesn't want to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His head is pounding, his wrists are sore and for some reason something is still in his ass. To his utter discomfort his boyfriend is nowhere to be found next to him so he has to deal with this alone. Stupid Mondays. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reaches behind himself, twitching slightly when he feels something soft and fluffy. Closer inspection shows that it's attached to a flat, silicone surface and a light pull reveals that whatever the surface is attached to is lodged in his ass. It's weirdly not uncomfortable, just slightly irritating against his sensitive hole but it definitely can't stay here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeonjunnie hyung!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He calls, needing an urgent word with his boyfriend about leaving toys inside him overnight but nobody answers. Right, Yeonjun has an early dance class on Mondays. How dare he go to class and leave Soobin wallowing in the misery of yesterday alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That had been a lot, to word it nicely. The blindfold, the handcuffs, the purple thing, whatever that's called. Yeonjun called him dumb. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dumb slut</span>
  </em>
  <span> his brain provides through another painful throb and it's at that moment that Soobin decides to take painkillers. It had been a weird experience, one he wouldn't like to repeat but honestly? To himself, all alone, with no witnesses? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt nice. Letting go and let Yeonjun treat him as he wanted to felt good. No need to worry, no thoughts of being embarrassed, just letting Yeonjun see all of the bad things in his mind. He's never slept so soundly before in his entire life to miss all five of his alarms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin limped to the bathroom, unable to walk properly with the damn toy inside him. Looking at it in the mirror was rough but he did catch glimpses of a black ball of fluff, almost like a bunny tail peeking out between his cheeks. Yeonjun really went there huh. It took a bit of lube to get it out, about as wide as three of his fingers by the base. He showered, took proper care of his slightly red wrists and took the time to wash his face properly after all the crying he'd done yesterday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun will probably want to talk about this. And they should, obviously, it was an intense experience and if Yeonjun isn't going to mention it Soobin definitely will, he just doesn't know for how much of that conversation he wants to actually talk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobins family was always very traditional. He wouldn't say religious but they did put a lot of value in raising him to be modest in both character and appearance. There was no privacy, no computer, no meeting friends late or sleepovers. Soobin never got to explore anything he was interested in that was even slightly related to sex amongst many other things and the one time he was brave enough to research about things his mother had been devasted. A shame to the family she'd called him, an embarrassment to his parents. For the longest time he'd hidden even his sexuality from them, dated Yeonjun in secret and pretended to be friends with him when they just started dating. Him coming out to them was the last straw, their inability to accept him for who he was driving him to finally move away from them, into a new place with Yeonjun who was waiting with open arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite it all he doesn't hate them, wishes he had some form of contact with them. Enjoying all the things they said were bad and harmful, he doesn't want to dishonor the way they raised him. They're his parents. All they wanted for him was to be happy and safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Soobinie baby, are you in here?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun knocked on the bathroom door, not coming inside thankfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm. You need anything?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope, but I picked up breakfast for us! I'll be in the kitchen" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, thank you" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly put on a bathrobe and patted his cheeks to snap back into reality before heading to the kitchen table. Yeonjun wasn't joking when he said he'd bought breakfast, an arrangement of cupcakes and Soobins favorite strawberry shortcakes already waiting for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We didn't get to eat them yesterday so I figured we could have them for breakfast!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin broke into a smile, sitting down with a little wince. Yeonjun was definitely happy, bringing him hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon before sitting down himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm being spoiled" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You deserve to be. I kind of overdid it yesterday, so let me pamper you today. How are you, by the way? Anything hurt?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah, so it already began. He'd wished this could've waited after breakfast but oh well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine hyung. Nothing I couldn't handle" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's dismissive, maybe a little rude but Soobin really doesn't want to talk about this. He takes a sip of hot cocoa before unwrapping a cupcake while Yeonjun sits across of him, expression a mix of troubled and concerned. Oh dear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should've told me you like blindfolds that much, I would've bought one a while ago" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not like I knew" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And the handcuffs?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hyung can we do this some other time, I'm tired"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You could've at least been honest in the shop" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun really wasn't going to drop this. Soobin huffed, setting his cupcake down again to massage his temples. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't know, hyung. I don't know if I like it or not, but can we have this discussion some other time? My head hurts" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun looks like he wants to say more and Soobin knows that he's just being difficult on purpose right now but he can't do this. Not right now and maybe not ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay. Let me get you something for your headache" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's not hungry anymore. Actually he's feeling kind of sick right now, he might just go back to bed. Fighting with Yeonjun isn't something he enjoys doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here you go. I'd really like it if we could talk about this Soobin" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah but I don't want to talk about it. Can't this be like, a one time thing?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallows the pill before drinking hot chocolate to chase it while getting up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you hate it that much?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't hate it, it's just, can't we just drop this?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin tries to head to the bedroom, preferably to lock himself inside but Yeonjun is quick to follow, used to his escapist tendencies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can't drop this Soobin, if I crossed the line I have to know. I didn't want to hurt you" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn't hurt me for fucks sake, okay! I enjoyed it, I loved it but I don't want to enjoy being </span>
  <em>
    <span>abused</span>
  </em>
  <span> by you!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin regrets it as soon as it's out, clamping his mouth shut. He turns around to find Yeonjun staring at him in shock, rooted in his spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't mean to say that"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that what you thought I was doing? Getting off on, on hurting you, do you think I could actually do that?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, hyung no, never" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was blinking away tears and Soobin couldn't breathe. He made Yeonjun cry. He's almost tripping over himself to close the space between them, reaching out to Yeonjuns hands to hold them tightly in his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I know you would never hurt me on purpose" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why would you say it if you didn't mean it? I thought- oh God, m'sorry Binnie" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hyung no, you didn't do anything wrong, don't apologize, it's okay. Let's sit down and talk, please" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a little more coaxing for Yeonjun to sit down on the couch with him and stop crying, never letting go of their joined hands. Soobin feels terrible but he can only imagine what must be running through Yeonjuns head right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't mean to say that. I know you wouldn't hurt me like that Hyung, I got upset and worded myself wrong and I'm sorry" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well what- what were you go-going to say?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was still sniffling, trying to blink away tears that Soobin wishes wouldn't exist in the first place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You remember how my parents were always so weirded out by people wearing like, chokers or having hickeys or whatever?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I believe their words were 'hookers and bitches with no self value' but go on" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin almost chuckles at that, kissing the top of Yeonjuns head. His boyfriend had a few choice words for his parents but thankfully he's being civil about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, they told me their significant others must not be treating them well. That they were being controlled and abused, forced to wear those as signs of possession. The older I got the more broad that got and, while they're totally too extreme about it, I can't say they're lying" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Binnie they're crazy-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hear me out. Please?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun huffed but nodded, motioning for Soobin to continue whole caressing the palm of his hand with his thumb. At least they're talking now. </span>
</p><p><span>"Handcuffs and Blindfolds, that kind of thing, it's a control thing. You like controlling people with those, that's what they're for. Hitting and torturing </span>your significant other for pleasure, isn't that kind of sick? That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Me enjoying you doing these things to me, degrading me, restraining me, it isn't right. And while being in a relationship with you is definitely right, I don't think what we're doing is particularly healthy. Then again, I know you're not mean or aggressive or really anything bad so I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I figured trying things out would maybe change my opinion, be a little more informed but it's scary. Giving up control is scary and enjoying the way you force me to give up that control is going against everything I ever thought was right about a relationship. It scares me, because I don't want any of us to get hurt through this. I don't want this to ruin what we already have" </p><p>
  <span>He fully expected Yeonjun to call bullshit on him, to tell him he's brainwashed by his parents or whatever. There's no scenario in his mind where things don't go from bad to worse now that he's opened up about this so imagine his surprise when Yeonjun cups his face gently and thumbs over his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Soobin that's not at all what any of this is about. I mean yes I'm possessive and I definitely enjoy the thought of you being only mine and people being able to see that but I only like doing it because you'll </span>
  <em>
    <span>let </span>
  </em>
  <span>me. I'm okay with not giving you hickeys, I'll even stop trying to be clingy in public if you want me to. I don't enjoy forcing you to do anything. Same goes for the kinky stuff, I don't like hurting you or calling you bad things. I'd much rather call you my sweet angel sugarpie and kiss you forever and ever but I love making you feel good. If being blindfolded and chained to the bed frame makes you feel good then I'll feel good making you feel good. Does that make sense?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It kind of does? It sounds a little backwards but putting it like that isn't bad. Yeonjun did ask him multiple times whether he wanted to stop and Soobin chose not to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Try looking at it this way. Let's say you're into spanking. I don't enjoy hitting you. It's definitely on my list of things I would never do to you, but if you tell me you enjoy it then I would do it because you like it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you were kinky before you knew I was interested in that kind of stuff" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like the thought of someone, particularly you, enjoying that. I don't think I'd get off on slapping random people's asses but you have a very pretty ass and I'd like to slap it if you're into that" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes sense. Kind of. It doesn't sound as bad anymore and maybe this can be the way it works. He's not sure about any of this and he's definitely questioning a few things but he does feel a little better about himself now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm still concerned about a few things you're into but I think I'm okay for now" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's good, but how do you know what I'm into?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I, uhm. I might have checked your browser history a while ago" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh? And what would you do that for?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was looking up the email you sent to the landlord for the broken heater and then I got curious what you were up to…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you snooped through my computer, found porn and what, decided to watch it?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>".... I just clicked through it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay so Soobin has a few boundary problems. To be fair, his parents had no boundaries regarding privacy and Yeonjun uses the same password for all his devices. If he didn't want Soobin to look through his things he wouldn't have told him the password. Yeonjun doesn't look upset, just lightly flicks his head as punishment before tugging at his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Since you already know what my interests are then, why don't we watch some porn together? And whenever you're weirded out by something I'll explain why I like it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin blushes, not only because Yeonjun is pulling at his skin but because this is absurd. He can barely watch porn alone, usually cringes more than gets off on it, how is he supposed to sit next to Yeonjun and watch that like it's just another movie? Someone send help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think we should do that" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It'll be fun! I'll get my laptop and you can get cozy until I come back. We never watched porn together" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think you're supposed to watch porn together hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Yeonjun is already gone, on a fetch quest to bring his laptop and Soobin doesn't have time to regret his life choices. Instead he just hogs the blanket, feeling kind of cold with only his bathrobe on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun returns, the screen already on a porn website and Soobin wants to turn back time. Death by embarrassment isn't a thing right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop being so fidgety. Just say something if you have any questions" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How Yeonjun can be so calm in any situation is admiring and concerning at the same time but there's no time to contemplate as Yeonjun choses a video to start with. It's straight porn, the actress is Japanese and Soobin wishes he'd never said anything in the first place. At least he's not going to get into this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to porn without headphones is weird in itself, it's worse when the only thing he hears is this lady getting screwed within an inch of her life. He risks a glance over to Yeonjun and gets flustered when the older meets his gaze, like he'd been looking the entire time. Soobin turns his attention back to the screen, curling together a little more in his blanket when the guy, huge compared to the small woman, tan and built like he lives in a gym, slaps her ass a couple of times, hard enough to turn red. It looks painful. He can't hide his wince when he grabs her already bruised cheek, his fingertips leaving an imprint before he reaches back again, saying something in English Soobin doesn't quite catch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That looks painful" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It probably is, but she's into it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin hums, non-committal rather than approving and Yeonjun pauses the video and turns to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Some people are into being spanked Binnie" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are into that, hyung?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The immediate answer flusters him, nothing about Yeonjuns expression showing anything but honesty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A lot of people are into it a little bit. You don't have to do it hard, it's just about the impact of it. Would you like to try?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>".... what?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's a hard question to process, did Yeonjun just ask him to let himself be hit? Still, he looks so serious about this, like he's totally down for it and Soobin has no idea </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't do it hard, come here" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun pats his lap like he actually expects Soobin to say yes to this level of nonsense. Well jokes on himself, Soobins body decided to move before his mind could tell him to stop and be rational about this but really, self preservation is just bullshit. YOLO right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How….?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just lean over" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin drags the blanket with him, as if that would help anything, sighing shakily as he leans his upper body over Yeonjuns lap, leaning onto the armrest for stability. They're already so far down the deep end, what's a little more honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You gotta tell me if it's too hard or if you'd like it harder" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blanket and bathrobe are pushed away, lifted up so Yeonjun has access to his ass and Soobin doesn't know why this is happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll do it three times okay?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really tries to ready himself, to relax a little since this is happening one way or another. It's more surprising that this hasn't happened yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first hit </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It stings against his cheek and pushes him forward a little, making him twitch away. Yeonjuns hand is over the aching spot already, caressing his butt and if this isn't the most embarrassing thing that's happened today Soobin doesn't know what is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too much?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Definitely, can you go a little lighter?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that he's asking for this is a new low but if there's any way he can enjoy something Yeonjun is genuinely into then he'll try. The second slap doesn't hurt as much, just a little harder than a pat but not really noticeable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think a little harder than that?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, let me try something" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun trying anything usually ends with Soobin crying but fine. Soobin anticipates the third hit, has a general grasp of the sensation he's looking for now. What he doesn't expect is Yeonjuns thumb pressing against his still sore rim. It's dry and it stings a little but it feels good, just teasing the entrance a bit. The third hit comes with a little push, the fingertip breaching inside and Soobin moans openly, head falling between his shoulders. That felt nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A-again" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pleas softly, pressing his ass backwards onto Yeonjuns finger and into the palm of his hand. His boyfriend obliges, switching to a significantly more slick finger and pushing inside at the same time as a rather hard hit. The sting is noticeable now but so, so good with the drag of Yeonjuns finger inside him and okay, maybe this is why people are into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Feels good?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mhm" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll pull out now baby, wanna sit on my lap?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun pulls the bathrobe and blanket back down before helping Soobin maneuver his long body to sit on his lap. Yeonjun is hard against his back but Soobin doesn't comment on it, just leans back so Yeonjun can still see the screen and press play. Soobin can definitely see why the actress would enjoy being spanked now, a little excited even to experience it properly for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun let's Autoplay do it's work when the video ends, gently grinding up against the curve of Soobins butt and he can't say that this is terrible. It's another straight porn, sadly, but starts off entirely different. This time the woman is Western, probably American, tied face up onto some sort of bench. Soobin vaguely remembers seeing this before, is only sure of it when the guy tilts her head back and feeds his cock straight down her throat. What Yeonjun said yesterday repeats in his mind and he stops the video before rational thought can settle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I figured you'd stop around there" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun groans, tightening his hold on his waist a little and Soobin hums.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You said yesterday that, that you'd like to do that" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I probably did" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well? Explain yourself, she's </span>
  <em>
    <span>choking</span>
  </em>
  <span>" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite himself Soobin can totally see himself doing that. He's never given Yeonjun a proper blowjob before and he's sure he'd choke and die if anything went that far down his throat but that's something he can practice. </span>
</p><p><span>"Honestly, </span>I have nothing for this. I mean, and don't take this the wrong way, the thought of you letting me use your mouth like that is insanely hot. And your mouth is small and your lips are thick, it's like you're literally made for give blowjobs? I've had dreams about you giving head since we first met Soobin, I'm not even joking" </p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun is blushing pink and twitching underneath him and Soobin wants to die. How come Yeonjun never mentioned anything if he was that interested in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should've told me" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Soobin you freaked out the first four times we had sex and I have very little self control, do you really think I could've asked you to get on your knees for me?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's a point. Counterpoint, Soobin feels very inclined to get on his knees right now to try it out. That's definitely added to the imaginary list of kinks to try out next time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then what about the choking thing?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like it when you give up control. I like that you trust me to take care of you and I feel like choking is one way to completely let go. It's a little on the extreme side though" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin doesn't know why, but it intrigues him. His neck is sensitive anyways and he's enjoyed the way Yeonjun subconsciously ghosted his fingers over his throat the past few times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's try it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun seems surprised but nods the same second, struggling to sit up a bit more with Soobin weighing him down on his legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you- I mean sure, yeah, I'd love to" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's cute, seeing the almighty Choi Yeonjun flustered and borderline shy as Soobin turns around and straddles his thighs. He's nervous too, doesn't know what to expect but he'll be damned to not try this. Yeonjuns touch is light at first, hand settling around his throat loosely. Just this much already feels nice, kind of exciting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll press down now" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun takes a breath and squeezes, just lightly. The pressure is almost comforting in a way at first. He can still breathe just fine, it's the knowledge that Yeonjun could literally take his breath away right now that makes him squeamish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You okay?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, just- it's good" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck… I'll press down harder" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin doesn't say much of an answer, whining softly when the pressure increases and now it's a little hard to breathe. He can feel his pulse in his ears, lips dropping open in an attempt to take deeper breaths. His heart is racing, the inkling of fear in the back of his mind silenced by how fucking turned on he is right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"More?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun asks softly, eyes dark and holy shit the answer is yes, always yes. He must have answered at some point since now he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>, instinctively reaching up to Yeonjuns wrist but not pulling just yet. His vision goes a little fuzzy, body screaming for some form of oxygen while he ruts against Yeonjuns thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's when the edges start turning dark that he lightly pulls on Yeonjuns wrist, the older loosening the pressure against his neck slowly to not overwhelm him. The first breath nearly knocks him out anyways, moaning as he nearly collapses into Yeonjuns embrace, shaking and so close. This is bad, this is definitely bad but this feels too good to not repeat</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hyung" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathes out once he catches his breath properly, looking up where he's curled into Yeonjuns chest. His expression reads pure lust and Soobin might come on the spot</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"On your knees Bunny, hyung will choke you differently this time" </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Subspace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>...it's late. A couple hours or a day, depends on where you are, but here it is!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin whined as he climbed down the couch, sitting prettily on his knees as Yeonjun settles his thighs around him, pulls his hard cock from the confines of his pants. He likes this view, feeling Yeonjuns gaze on him as he scoots forward to properly sit between his lovers legs. It's getting to him, the haze from the choking earlier and overall pleasure thrumming under his skin he's feeling floaty. </p><p>"Pinch my thigh if you want me to go slower and slap it if you want me to stop, okay bun?"</p><p>Yeonjun coos softly, the contrast so stark to earlier as he risks a glance up. Long fingers come up to tangle in his hair, petting him gently. Yeonjun makes him repeat the gestures before bringing a second hand down, easily pulling his jaw open. </p><p>"God, you don't even know how long I've dreamed of this Baby"</p><p>Soobin follows the light push of Yeonjuns hand, loosely pressing his plush lips to the spongy tip of his cock. There's a short pause before his brain unfreezes, remembers what he's supposed to be doing right now, and he kisses it gently, tongue darting out to lick. </p><p>He's about to press his tongue into the slit when Yeonjun pushes him down until the head pushes past his lips.</p><p>"I didn't ask you to tease me, dumb bunny. Do it properly"</p><p>Soobin tried to look up only to find that Yeonjun wasn't budging this time, making his cheeks grow warm his mouth was small and he wasn't used to the warm intrusion, only making it down another inch or two before his gag reflex stopped him from continuing. </p><p>He heard his lover chuckle above him, embarrassment curling in his stomach as he tried to push himself down further, tears burning behind his eyes with how hard he tried not to gag. All he wants is to be good, to please Yeonjun properly and he's failing, can't even do this much when he's usually being taken care of so well. </p><p>The older seemed to notice his struggle, pulling him up harshly by his hair, Soobin barely able to keep his teeth away from the suddenness.</p><p>"Fucking knew you wouldn't get far on your own. Can't even take half of me, Daddy's too big for you, hm?" </p><p>The nickname caught him off guard, stuttering on a moan. Of all things, of course Yeonjun had a fucking Daddy kink, what was he expecting. If his brain wasn't turned to mush he wouldn't probably teased him about it but as it was all he could do was whine, hands scrambling up to Yeonjuns thighs. </p><p>"I-I can do it, can be good- wanna be a good bun"</p><p>He missed the praises, wanted to be commended for doing well and patted again. He wasn't dumb, he could be good, all he needed was another chance! Another chuckle and Soobin felt so small, eyes big and pleading.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Ask for it Bunny, maybe I'll give you another chance" </p><p>Any semblance of pride was abandoned, head filled with cotton. Somewhere he was begging himself to not do this, a distant voice in the back of his mind, but the list driven devil inside his mind had taken over, didn't allow him to feel anything but need as he voiced his desires.</p><p>"Please, Daddy, wanna- bun wants to be good, need it. Can choke myself on Daddy's big cock, please" </p><p>And who was Yeonjun to deny his sweet pet anything? So he let go of Soobins hair and leaned back against the worn fabric of their couch, giving Soobin some more space. "Go on. If you can make me come like this I'll reward you, okay?" It wouldn't be a hard task, not with how close the image of sweet, innocent Soobin looking with hunger at his dick got him. </p><p>Soobin didn't hesitate to sit up again, greedily licking along the length of the shaft, refusing to use his hands even if Yeonjun never told him he couldn't. It's messy, spit slick lips struggling to properly wrap around him this way, drooling all over him but he's trying so hard to do well, has to get Daddy's cock nice and wet so it'll fit and go down more. </p><p>Once satisfied with his work he swallows down the tip again, mindful of his teeth as he pushes himself down further, tries to open himself up more only to feel his chest seize when it brushes the back of his throat.</p><p>"Go slow bunny, you'll hurt yourself"</p><p>Yeonjun groans, trembling with the effort it takes to not fuck up into Soobins sweet, willing mouth but holding on to his sanity. Still, he doesn't touch just yet, leaning his head back when Soobins sweet vibrate straight through him. </p><p>There's no way he would be able to take more today, the rational part of his brain warns. It's already hard to breathe and there's still a good bit to go, it wouldn't fit, not without sacrificing the last of his dignity. It's frustrating, enough to make tears collect in his eyes as he tries in vain to push himself further, if he could just take a little more maybe then he's good enough, can make Daddy come....</p><p>"Shh, Bunny, baby, don't cry"</p><p>Yeonjun sits up again, frowning slightly despite the pleasure in his system. He plays with Soobins hair, shushing his panicking sub sweetly as he coaxes him off of his member, bends down to kiss his cheeks.</p><p>"Why are you crying love? Does it hurt?"</p><p>He's a new dom in practice no matter how long he's spent researching about it but the way Soobin struggles to communicate back to him now, trying to get closer and mumbling little sorry's is all but enough to tip him off. </p><p>Soobinie dropped into Subspace and he didn't take care of him well enough. </p><p>From last time he got a decent grasp of the concept of it, knew he'd made Soobin drop and was fascinated by the fact that his boyfriend was even capable of it, but seeing how it affected him now made his heart break. He should've been more careful.</p><p>"Come here baby, you did so well. Up?"</p><p>Soobin calms down with the praise, just a little, and Yeonjun helps him up to sit back in his lap, chest to chest. </p><p>"Got so far on your first try, Daddy's proud of you, Binnie. Love you so much"</p><p>He nuzzled against Soobins cheek, gently kissed his nose and held him close as he noticed the contact keeping Soobin calm, hopefully pulling him back out. He whispered praise in his ear, a sweet mantra of 'pretty Angel' and 'Good Bunny's that had Soobin nuzzle into his neck and curl tight around him, drifting off into a nap. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin wakes up in their shared bedroom, wrapped up in Yeonjuns arms. If he didn't have his bedside clock in sight he'd have thought earlier today was a dream. There was still a sinking feeling of disappointment left, but he didn't want to let himself dwell on it too much, turning around to face Yeonjun instead of being spooned by him. The movement woke his lover up, eyes heavy with sleep but a smile immediately on his lips. He loved watching Yeonjun wake up, loved the honest, lovestruck smile he always showed him during these quiet moments. </p><p>"Morning Binnie"Soobin giggled softly when he was pulled in closer, easily leaning in for kisses.</p><p>"It's the middle of the day, Junie hyung" he corrected but Yeonjun dismissed that thought, whining like a child and Soobin felt fond all over.</p><p>"Shh, we just woke up again, it's morning" </p><p>They cuddled in silence for a few more moments, pulling the blanket up to shield them from the outside light to little avail. To his own surprise it was himself who broke it, almost a little restless.</p><p>"I'm sorry" Apparently that much was enough to send his lover into a small fit, head shaking and arms tightening around him.</p><p>"No, I'm sorry. You were doing so well baby, I should've taken better care of you" </p><p>Upon noticing his confusion on why exactly Yeonjun felt he needed to apologize, the older explained everything to him. The concept of subspace, how it was the greatest gift to Yeonjun that Soobin felt safe enough with him to just drop like that, even subconsciously. How it was Yeonjuns, the doms, responsibility to take care of Soobin, his sub, when he let go like that and yet he had abandoned Soobin in front of a task he never tried before without any guidance whatsoever. </p><p>It helped, to put a name on the way his head turned off in that moment, even if it was a scary concept to him if he'd continue to feel this way; like he needed to do well and be good even if it disregarded his own limits. He knew Yeonjun wouldn't take advantage of that, trusted him fully to take care of him in the future now that they both knew more about his own treacherous mind, but it remained bothersome. The bad feeling in his stomach could definitely be pinned on that stupid subspace and the fact that it wouldn't go away bothered him to no ends. </p><p>"...I feel like I failed you" Soobin admitted, shaking his head when Yeonjun tried to get a word in.</p><p>"This whole kink thing, it's what you like, but I'm always the one on the receiving end. You're always making me feel so good and taken care of and loved, so I just... I want to make you feel good too, Hyung. I wanted to try to, today, but I wasn't sure what to do and in the end I did nothing but cry over nothing. It feels like I'm not giving anything back" </p><p>He'd started trying to experiment because he never wanted to lose Yeonjun in the first place. He wanted to be fun and exciting and open for new things but it's shifting the balance of their relationship around. Sex had never been important, they hadn't tried to make it important but now that this dom/sub dynamic was added to their relationship there was suddenly so much more that Yeonjun was doing to make him happy than Soobin could do to please him. The entire purpose of this became turned around and it left him feeling even more lacking than he had before. </p><p>"Soobinie... Love, you're giving me everything. It's not- ugh, i don't know how to say this, you don't need to give anything back? You're giving me more than enough. I mean, you literally let me shove an unknown object inside your ass last night just because i get off on it. You make me laugh and you make me smile and I love you from the bottom of my heart, Soobin-ah"</p><p>The younger could feel the way Yeonjuns hands trembled against his back, probably aching go pull him closer and yet he stayed a nose length apart, blushing as he tried to put into words what he would usually convey with hugs and lots of kisses. </p><p>"I'd give you the entire Universe if I could, okay? I don't care if you just lay on this bed and breathe for all eternity, I'll always love you, unconditionally, no matter what. You don't have to do anything for me to adore you and shower you in kisses and praise, there's nothing to earn, you already own my entire existence. So don't do anything you don't want to, or even things you want to, just because you think I'll love you more for it. I don't think it's humanly possible to love you anymore than I do right now" </p><p>Soobin was left to nod, the emptiness in his heart replaced with the warmth of his love for Yeonjun. This feeling wasn't only because he felt so good his body shut down, this was just the way he's always felt with Yeonjun. Warm and fuzzy, like being wrapped in a blanket burrito next to a fireplace. He felt safe here, in his arms, in their bed, together, and nothing would ever change that. </p><p>"You can hug me now, by the way"</p><p>He playfully reminded the older who almost looked pained with the effort it took to not throw himself at Soobins broader frame because this is just who Yeonjun was. Touchy and loving wherever he went, warm and absolutely adorable. Even if he could barely breathe with how tight he was being held, it was worth it completely. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Probably not what most of you expected for an update? I just felt this was a more natural progression of their relationship after i read over it again. Don't worry, there will be more smut coming up next chapter lmao</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feel free to leave suggestions for kinks in the comments, I wanna get better at writing smut and exploring with different kinks seems like good writing exercise</p></blockquote></div></div>
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